Goodbye, Love.

Shannon,

Who would have thought that our 3 year-long relationship would lead to this...I am writing you this letter, after getting the chance to reflect and cope over the past few days, to tell you how I feel and share with you where I feel we should go from here. I think we both deserve a sense of closure.

First of all, I want you to know that separating from you was a very hard decision to make. I am throwing away the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I know things between us have not been perfect but despite of that, we have constantly worked very hard to make things work and better. I loved and admired that about us. We fought and we fought hard. For me, I have been nothing but consistently devoted, true, and persistent no matter how hard things became. While my words may have not always necessarily matched my actions and no matter how occupied I have been and become with school and work, I have always believed in our relationship because there is no question that we genuinely care and love each other and it was worth every part of me to keep holding on.

Initially, I was angry and frustrated when you suggested that we take the time apart from each other. Just a few weeks ago, when we had come so close to breaking up, we managed to turn things around and recommitted ourselves with each other. It was not easy to go through all of that but we overcame it and coming so close to losing the most important person in my life became an opportunity for me to make a fresh, new start. But then, after this past weekend, we were back to square one and I was frustrated about your inability to understand why I could not spend the time with you and the subtle messages you leave on your Facebook page suggesting that things will never change for the better. Maybe I overreacted but your outlook and insecurity about the state of our relationship were troubling. I couldn't take it anymore.

You may say that I will never understand. That I may have never learned from my mistakes or that I may have not tried enough. That I may have not given us my all or may have taken things for granted. That I may have underestimated how much you truly loved me or that I may just be making the biggest mistake of my life. You've given me everything and while I wanted you and only you, I have always had so many other things in my life that were equally important. I know that you could only take so much and maybe because it is because of all this that it really is just best for us to go. I know I have my own shortcomings and they are for me to reflect on and cope with.

Despite of how much we truly love each other, you and I have different priorities in life right now. You are ready for a serious relationship and obviously have consistently put me at the center of your life. You deserve someone who is able to devote as much energy and time as you are capable of. On the other hand, while you have also played a central part in my life, my priority right now are my interests and career. I know you may never understand why I've done and continue to do the things I do like getting a second job but as I know you know, these are a central part of me and they are things that I am very passionate about and things that I hope will lead me to discover who I want to become and what career path to take. Please understand how important this is to me and call me selfish or whatever you can think of, but perhaps I am not at the point of my life where as you said, I am capable of putting someone above my work, activities, family, and friends. I have to do this for me.

Shannon, you are an immensely wonderful person. I can't say that enough. You have been the perfect friend, the best friend I've never had. You are beautiful, inside and outside. You were always there when I needed you, even when I wasn't always there when you needed me. It was you who could only understand me in ways no one else could. It was you who inspired me in ways you never even knew. It was you who was always patient, generous, and sweet. It was you who taught me new knowledge and skills and allowed me to experience life like never before. It was you who supported me through the good and the bad. It was you who taught me how great of a feeling love is and that the only way to love yourself is to give your love to someone else. It was you and only you who has made me feel complete.

Thank you for everything. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you. We've gone through so much in the past 3 years, through thick and thin and through the smiles and tears. I am extremely sorry for all of the hurt I've caused you and for the pain you're going through. I wish I could take all of your tears and sadness away.

I want you to know that I will never ever forget you and will never forget the times we've shared together. You will always be my friend and an important person in my life. I have utmost respect for a woman of your caliber. I know things will never be the same ever again between the two of us but remember that you can always count on me no matter what happens now and on in the future. As I wrap this up, I am extremely saddened. I will miss you terribly.

Before I end this letter, I just want to take this time to thank you for the honor of being my girlfriend for the past 3 years. Your love, trust, and compassion are ever lasting. You've made me a man by loving me Shannon. And for that, I am eternally grateful. If there was one thing I'd want for you to take away from this experience, it is that you always remember that I loved you with all of my heart and soul. If you can promise me anything, promise me that you take care of yourself and you move forward with your life from here onward. You deserve nothing but only the very best. I don't know what the future holds but I am just one chapter in your life and your happiness is my happiness wherever you may find it down the road.

I will always love you.

With all my love,

Christian