Dear Shannon,
To say that our relationship lately has been far from perfect would be an understatement. It has been far from perfect and we both know that. But through the arguments, misunderstandings, and fights we've had, we always manage to find ourselves in each other's arms because of how much care and love we have for one another. I know that you care for me very much and I can only hope that you also know that I care for you very much.
There is no other person in my life that has made me feel happy and complete than you. We started dating during senior year of high school and man, things were quite simple back then. Up to this day, I still remember sneaking out of my parents' house and spending hours after hours in your car, talking and doing nothing. Over the years, I've gotten to know you better and better and while things have become less simple and we've both grown up as young adults, I have always known in my heart that you were someone very special in my life -- someone who is beautiful outside and inside; someone who could make me laugh; someone who could understand me more than anyone; someone who looked past my imperfections and valued me for who I am; someone who loved me unconditionally. It was hard not to fall for you easily not only because of your charm but also because of the strong feelings you left me with that I have never ever felt before.
I know I've had my share of mistakes in our relationship. Let me tell you where I know I went wrong. Being with you for quite some time, I have at times taken you for granted and have not always taken responsibility for my own actions. I've been too dumb to figure out that I can lose myself in the many things I want to do. I lose sight of how my action and inaction, my insensitivity, my hesitation, my insecurity, my pride can affect the very people that I would never want to hurt, including you. I know I am far from perfect and I know, among other things, I've done a lot of other things over time that have hurt and upset you that I wish I didn't do.
I am sorry for all of the things I've done that hurt you. Please know that I didn't mean to do any of those things to you. I am sorry for all of the pain that I've put you through. You didn't and don't ever deserve any of that. I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could go back and take away all of the tears that you've shed.
I can never go back in the past but can only focus on the future and what is to come. It is because of this that I can tell you that you have given me every reason to become a better person; every reason to change who I used to be; every reason to start all over new. It is going to take some time to get this right but this is a promise I make to myself and to you.
You are the one I love, Shannon, and it is for this very reason that I would never let you go. Even after all of the things we've said and done, you are the one I love. I have come close to losing you many times and I just want you to know that I would be a complete fool to let you go. I would not be better off without you because to put simply, you are the most important person in my life. You make me feel complete, piece by piece, and without you, I am not me.
You have been everything that I seek for in someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are caring, loving, loyal, beautiful, intelligent, talented, gorgeous, charming, compassionate, hard working, understanding, and so many more. You are extremely talented in many things (managing, leading, organizing, piecing things together, cooking, and many others); you have a good head over your shoulders (you are mature and wise); you are independent (you live in your own apartment and manage to make things work out on top of school and work); you are dependable (you are always there for anyone); you come from a good family (and yes, I really do love Midge); you are intelligent and goal-oriented (you make school a priority and you know where you're headed); and so many more. I admire these qualities very much and I am extremely lucky and blessed to find someone who has them. As my girlfriend, you are gorgeous (you always take my breath away); you are a sweetheart (you always find ways to surprise me); you are adventurous (oh the places we've visited and the many more we could go to); you are my best friend (a best friend I've never had); you are loved by my family (my family adores you and you've made my brother and I closer than ever before); you are someone very special in my heart (you are the one I think of when I am sad, the person I go crazy over buying the 'perfect roses' and 'perfect gift' for, the person that is always on my mind); you make me laugh (I love those uncontrollable, unending ones we have once in a while); you understand me more than anyone (I know I can always lean on you); you are an angel (you're always watching over me and you pick me up when I am down); and you accept me and love me for who I am (yes, even my sarcastic-goofy-immature-insensitive-self).
I have always been the kind of guy who relishes on the present rather than the future. Maybe it is because of this that I have never directly told you how I feel about us in the future. But given everything that I've openly said in this letter, I can honestly tell you that yes, you are the woman that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. There isn't quite more beautiful and perfect of a woman than you. To have you and your love with me for the rest of my life would be an honor that I would be eternally grateful for.
You are everything that I want and more, Shannon. Thank you for every wonderful, priceless thing that you are. I am forever grateful to have met you and to have shared my life with you. How lucky am I. By loving me, you've made me a man. If I can have one thing I don't deserve, then I have never wanted anybody else but you.
I don't know how I can ever repay you for everything you've done for me in the past 3 years and for making my life so wonderful. One simple thing that I know I can do though is to be everything that you have been to me. And I promise you that I will. I will always be here for you through the good and the bad. You deserve nothing less. Please never forget how important you are to me and that you can always count on me every step of the way.
Thank you for reading this long letter. These are all merely words and I know that at the end of the day, my actions will need to speak louder than my words. But please know that this letter comes from the very depths of my soul. May this be a simple reminder that you are the one I love and that I love you very much. You have given me every reason to start anew and this is just the beginning.
I love you, now and always.
With all my love,
Christian
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